Damn you, Dell

Ok, so anyone that has been reading my rants for a while knows I have a love/hate thing with Dell.  Or, more like a hate/hate thing.  Actually, I am for the most part happy with the dell systems I have to work on in my line of work.  It's nice to have a standard we work with that allows me to set up one machine, grab an image, and know it will likely work just fine to deploy on the systems we buy over the next so many months, until we are forced to change what model we purchase.

But, Dell's tech support, is often a bit lacking.

So, this morning, I get a new laptop for the CFO.  He's out today, so the goal is to get this setup today, so it's ready to roll when he gets in Monday morning.  So, I open up the box, and pull out a nice thin laptop. Oooooh.....shiny.  So, being that we haven't advanced beyond the world of XP yet at our place of work, I grab my trusty XP installation disc, and.....wait a second, where's the dvd drive?

Ok, don't panic.....certainly we wouldn't order a laptop without a drive.  This must be one of those deals where the drive is an external drive, which allows the laptop to be a bit smaller to not have to have space for a drive.

So, I go back to the box, and sure enough, there's a bubble pack in there with a dvd drive.  An internal dvd drive.  So, I figure, they wouldn't include something that wouldn't match with the computer it is sold with, so lets find where to install this.

Well, 15 minutes later, I'm still holding this drive, and I have no place to put it.  So I figure I should call trusty Dell technical support, so someone there can tell me where to put it.  And that's pretty much exactly what happened.  Well, not quite.....

Ok, so, the person in technical support doesn't know how to use a mic.  She had her mic setup so she was speaking/breathing directly into it, so it was filled with pops and such.  Plus, her levels were low, I could barely hear her.  But, whatever, lets get this done.  So I give my name, number, email address, backup number, go through spelling, and all that fun stuff, to find out that yes, you are right, that drive won't work with that laptop.  However, technical support can only swap parts for the same part, which wouldn't help me, so she transferred me to customer care.

So, I get transferred to customer care, and that person goes through the same routine of name, number.....  And then informs me, I can't help you, because this was ordered through large enterprise, I need to transfer you to large enterprise customer care.  Oh boy, here we go.....

So then I get moron #3.  She informs me that yes, it is the wrong dvd drive, and no, they can't do anything about it.  Thank you. 

WHAT

THE

FUCK!!!!!!!

Apparently, it's a refurb unit, and even though we have a warranty that lasts us 3 years, that isn't enough to simply get the right damn parts.  They can only exchange the part for the same part, or they can let me return it for no credit.  That was actually an option given to me, to return the drive, for no credit.  Just hand it over to them and say, "here you go, you've been so great, have a free dvd drive, and I'll get nothing in return for this"

WHAT!!!!!!!!!!

THE!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even if that is an option, do these people listen to themselves talk?  So, really, the only option she gives when I press further is returning the full unit to order another one.  But, since we buy refurbs, we have the issue of availability and what's available when, so there's no telling when another one will come up.  Or if the same one will come up again and then we'll be stuck with this bad combo again.  So, I was like, ok, how about we do a return of the whole thing, rebuy it, but you put the right dvd drive in it.  Well, you can return the whole thing.  No, how about you process the return, I keep the computer, and we swap the drive, but you do whatever paperwork you need to do to make this happen.  Nope, that won't work.

So, I point out how ridiculous and silly this is, that they sell a laptop and drive together that don't work together at all, and won't do anything about it.  She agreed with me....but.....her hands were tied.  So I asked if there was someone there that could do more.  Nope.

Since I wasn't feeling like having my supervisors walk in hearing me get heated with the Dell people again, I decided that's it, I'm ending this call, and I'll let my supervisor deal with it, since she ordered it.

But, seriously, what the fuck?  Is this moronic, or what?